It’s nice to live in the belief that the world is a perfect place and everything is good as we are all good people. Yes, it’s true. But the reality is that in all this beauty, and necessities there is always an uglier side. And that holds true when it comes to beautiful people.
But who’s to call the Kettle black? Aren’t we all flawed? The only faith we have is that we eventually evolve and grow to learn and fact the realities and have the faith that we s humans will eventually listen to our conscience and with a little introspection will change for the better. Well, well, herein lies the dilemma. A good majority of us are not honest, let alone taking the time to listen to what our own conscience is screaming at us. We can easily drown our conscience in our ego filled and materialistic world of fantasies and vices.
It boils down to one simple fact. You can only reason with reasonable people. An unreasonable person will always find a disconnected, illogical, untrue, stupid and mundane arguments to justify their point and argue to the end of the other person wits. And it is worse when these arguments are delivered with sarcasm, spite, insults and/or calculated measures to incite and aggravate you so that to spark a bad reaction where you the victim of stupidity will eventually die of self-guilt for losing your cool and saying or doing something stupid.
Well, although love is just a beautiful thing, it takes beyond a human beings vices and ego to truly appreciate it, nourish it and cherish it for what it is. That’s just simple love. But when love turns into a relationship, the human factor quickly kicks in with all its flaws, egos, rage, anger, arrogance and intolerance. Be it, lovers, marriage, a parent child relationship, siblings, or just friendship. They all constitute an essential component of disagreements, hurts, insults and emotional bruises.
But in this section of this page, it’s about love. Enough is talked about the right thing to do, and how beautiful love is and how to raise to the occasion and be that amazing, peaceful, Buddhist monkish, temper less, egoless, nerveless soft and peaceful sage to understand and manage the situation to let love prevail at the expense of your ultimate tolerance. Here, let us call a spade a spade and not a shovel. Instead of being politically correct, and tippy toe around individual sensitivities, let’s face the facts and realities and talk about how we destroy love.
Here are top 3 reasons why love fails:
- Disrespect: Wait a second here. It’s not about giving and getting respect. It’s about earning it. We often do not earn the respect we so like to get. Often our self-worth is much greater than how the world views us. Our own possessions are often valued by us based on our likes and ideas as opposed to what a potential buyer thinks its worth. Hence it is important to know our audience, customer, person, relationship, and how they view us or relate to who we really are. Next see if you are truly worthy of the other persons respect in terms of how you conduct yourself, your level of honesty, your character, your demeanor, your level of acceptance, your choice of words, your personality, tolerance, and willingness to make sacrifices or adjustments to accommodate the other persons personality. All of these and more takes to gain and keep ones respect. The same applies to the other person as well. Do they deserve your respect? There is no trial periods. Either they do or they don’t. But what truly makes this process difficult is when you or the other person choses to Pretend to be someone else who they are not to impress and gain the respect. Because when the pretense stops, the reality soon forces the love out. Be honestly respectable and seek to engage with those who are the same.
- Honesty: Oh boy….hasn’t enough has been said already about this? Do not pretend to be someone who you are not. There are many out there who are not honest themselves and seek people who have been dishonest as well but only to finally get involved in a honest relationship. But once in it, there are several reasons for the absolute need for honesty and loyalty for true love to be nourished and experienced. This is true for those who are honest. If you are dishonest it is absolutely unfair to expect the other person’s honesty and get disappointed when they are not. The least you can do is to not play with the other person’s emotions. And be courageous enough to be honest about your dishonesty or inability to commit or what it may be. Have you tried friends with benefits?
- Love: Yes, you need love to make love work. A lot of it and then some. But love is misunderstood as something that you experience or expect from others. Unfortunately, in reality it’s often about what you give and accommodate in love that is more gratifying and necessary for love to work. What you receive or is reciprocated is just a product of your actions. This kind of love takes a few meaningful and honest considerations. Namely, the ability to give unconditional (doesn’t mean without respect or loyalty) love just because you want to, the ability to be extra tolerant beyond your level of patience in order to be accommodative, the ability to tirelessly do things for the other person, and then the ability to listen, engage, spend time, and be there for them when they need you as opposed to being there for them when you want to. A kind of love that a mother provides to their child, but only lot more complex and accommodating the adult with all their flaws, temperaments, egos, and excess baggage’s that have carried from their past lives. That’s what it sadly takes to experience and be in true love. The rest are nothing but a mechanism of periodic interactions of love, compromises, sex if and when possible, sacrifices, fights, arguments, accommodations, and adjustments that often appears to be heavier on self than the other while its often the same on both sides.
If you are lucky you may a friend with whom you have nothing that can come in between to spoil the relationship. This friend may know all your secrets, flaws, and nuisances, but yet accepts and supports you unwaveringly and endlessly. There is no money, ego, or pride that can come in-between. Now if you can find a partner like this then that’s were true love can happen. However, always remember, the relationship is what creates the problems. Not love. This I will talk about I the relationship section that follows.